Fathers

I always feel a little jealous when people my age still have their parents. I hope they realize how lucky they are. Although I lost my father and mother at 65 and 72, I know that I am fortunate to have had them that long.

I remember a girlfriend calling me when we were in ninth grade to tell me her father died. I can still see my stunned self standing in our kitchen clutching the phone to my ear. And I still regret that in my state of shock, I literally had no words.

Anderson Cooper, who lost his father when he was ten, has a podcast called All There Is about the people we lose, the people left behind, and how we live on – with loss and with love. Cooper says, “Grief can feel so lonely but talking about it, and listening to others share their grief experiences helps.” In one episode Cooper speaks with Stephen Colbert who also lost his dad at ten years old. To hear them discuss their feelings about this devastating loss in such a vulnerable way was palpable.

The episode taught me that quite often it’s better to talk about the deceased rather than stay silent for fear of reminding the person of what they’ve lost. But the greatest takeaway was the reminder of just how important fathers are.

The Irish have a saying, “We never get over our fathers, and we’re not required to.”

Happy Father’s Day.